1. First you must know and love yourself. It will do you no good to meet someone and go through all the rituals of dating and mating unless you know who you are and what you want first. Once you have accomplished that, your love life will fall into place. You will then meet the “right” person for you. There are many spiritual books and creativity manuals around to help you “know” yourself. One book figuring prominently in my own life has been Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way”. Self awareness is not generally the easiest path to forge, but you must do it to achieve long-lasting happiness.
2. Loving yourself means to do what makes you happy and stop doing what makes you unhappy. Simple to say but more difficult to put into action. I suggest writing a list of what you love to do, and concentrate on doing what you love to do the most. Is it cooking? Then take a cooking class. Is it rock climbing? Join a club whose members meet at various sites in nature. Is it volleyball? Join a singles volleyball club. You get the picture. Doing what makes you happiest will magnetize you; you may meet the person of your dreams at one of these new venues.
3. Be philanthropic. To give is to receive. Volunteer at a local hospital or homeless shelter. You will be feeding your own heart, and you may also meet the person of your dreams while you are performing good works in the community.
4. Try something completely different that you have always been curious about but were too scared or had no time to do. Now is the time. The past is gone, the future does not exist; there is only now. Go sailing on a boat or a glider in the air. Climb to the top of a local mountain or to the end of a deep forest trail. If you have friends who do things that you have wanted to try, then ask them to take you and show you. This is also another opportunity to meet that special someone.
5. Make a list of all the qualities you would like this special person to have. Spend time and carefully jot down everything you can think of. Remember that physical qualities are fleeting. It’s the beauty and spirituality beneath which will be of importance when you are holding hands and walking into the sunset in your waning years. Post this list where the sun can shine on it, like the prayer flags of the Buddhists. When you meet someone new, compare their attributes to the one on your list. If this is the one, you’ll know.
6. Music is an essential ingredient, whether it is a band you enjoy, or the songs of birds in the morning, or simply the sound of a creek flowing over smoothed rocks. Participate more in some sort of music. Go and sit by a creek, learn to play the guitar or the flute. Music is an expression of happiness. When you are happy, you can attract someone happy.
7. When you know yourself, you become attuned to your inner voice. Learn how to let that voice guide you. It’s known as following your heart, knowing your bliss, mastering your path. Let’s say you meet someone who is the hottest person you have ever met and who wants to be with you. They’re beautiful but shallow. When your inner voice speaks up to remind you that this person is not for you, then listen. Or maybe it’s the opposite, which was the case for me. When I first met my partner 28 years ago (on Valentine’s Day) he knew it was love at first sight, but I was a little more skeptical. There was a special moment of realization (on the peak of the aptly named Key Summit in New Zealand’s Routeburn Track) when I finally listened to my inner voice and I am so glad I did.
8. Toss out any expectations for you will probably be disappointed. But do concentrate on your hopes and dreams.
9. Spend more time out in nature where you can see your soul reflected all around you.
10. Maintain a PMA – “Positive Mental Attitude.” Be curious and not desperate. Be open and not callous. Respect others as you wish to be respected. Enjoy your own company and someday soon your special someone will be basking in the sunshine of your love.
"Cherish" card by The Artful Crafter